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“[f]or women to become visible; it is necessary that they become linguistically visible” [Dale
Spender]
...
But when it comes to gender, do women really speak
differently to men? And, do women have to speak well to be seen in society? It is only recently
that we have noticed the sexism that women face every day, not just within our language, but
the whole of society and human history
...
” (COATES, 2004: 5)
...
It is possible that our language is sexist as a result of sexism in everyday life
...
” This implies that because
we have grown up in a sexist world, we have become so accustomed to it that we have seen
sexism as reality, and normality
...
It would be
easy to assume that this means that they are superior to men
...
As (SPENDER, 1998: 36)
says: “subordinates should be more polite than their superiors; the onus is on the waiter, not
on the customer to be polite”
...
It may be useful to consider that through history, women have been
seen as ‘the one that cooks and cleans’ and doesn’t work (as mentioned earlier)
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This therefore
implies that men are judged by their occupation and not their speech, whereas, women are
judged by the opposite
...

55% of the respondents claimed that women are in fact politer than men
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This supports the idea that women are politer than men,
because they are seen as inferior
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That's what little boys are made of
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That's what little girls are made of
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Eckert (2013: 121) said:
Politeness, which is etymologically related to polish, is connected not just to
considerateness but also to refinement, linking class with expertise in social proprieties
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Manners’ as the instructor
...

This is hardly surprising when we live in a world where men say things such as “not in front of
the ladies” when swearing or talking about bodily functions
...
”
(GODDARD, 2000: 92) This may come as a shock to men, but women have bodily functions too,
and they aren’t afraid to talk about them
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One respondent said this was because “it saves time asking someone with the same
bodily functions as me”
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The most interesting part of this data collection was that one respondent said: “I
don’t mind seeing a male doctor about these things”
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On
the contrary, 66% of those surveyed said they preferred to speak to other women about
general topics
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Spender (1998: 125) says: “given the sexual divisions of our society, it is
reasonable to expect that women could share interests with other women – about their work –
which they may not always share with men
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This could be because the whole of society is not
gender neutral – there are differences in men and women and how they think
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And they
are not there when you talk to the girls
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It’s much more sincere
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In the future, this data collection could be
broadened to ask women whether they have to flatter male strangers as opposed to male



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friends, as the survey did not differentiate between the two
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A group of women will speak to each other, and interact differently to the way a group of men
would
...
Women are much more likely to engage
in eye contact, whereas men will give more space between each other (physically), and look
down
...
Men on the other hand jump from one topic to another, vying to tell
anecdotes which centre themes of superiority and aggression
...
When men and women
talk to each other, something very interesting happens
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They are
fully aware that they are talking to the opposite gender, but they do not consider the rules of
the other person
...
Similarly,
Coates (1993) explains that men are more likely to use minimal responses, which women view
as rude and avoiding
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Women will be more inclined to avoid such language, and will be indirect with



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their aggression
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A lady should be quiet and inconspicuous, not drawing attention to herself, ‘Nice girls
don’t swear’ tells us that if girls swear they might forfeit their good reputations: ‘nice’ in
this phrase is not about being friendly or helpful, it is about being sexually chaste and
therefore of a good ‘class ’of woman
...
One of them implied that because
the girl didn’t use good language, she was a bad girl, and didn’t deserve any help
...
”

One of the most important parts of this research is what the linguistic differences between men
and women actually are
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Tag questions are where the speaker makes
a statement, and then prompts the listener to engage, for example, by agreeing
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It comes down to positive and negative face
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This is because when a woman is complimented, she feels the need to get
further reinforcement
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Although they aren’t being
complimented, they feel the need to have reinforcement
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They make a statement and are happy to get no reply, or reinforcement from the person
they are speaking to
...
Similarly, women use



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euphemisms
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For example, instead of saying “I’m going for a poo”, a woman might say “I’m just popping to
the loo”
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For example, instead of saying “I’m going for a poo”, they might say “I’m dying
for a shit, it’s going to be a big one I reckon”
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Women have obviously much higher pitch voices, whilst men have
very low voices
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Men find
women’s voices squeaky and annoying, whilst women find men’s voices dull, monotone, and
boring
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Women, as it is well known, have very high pitched voices which are
aesthetically unpleasing
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(SPENDER, 1998: 38)
It would make sense for this to be part of the reason that women are seen as invisible in
society
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This doesn’t mean this is
politically correct, however
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Whilst it is important to establish the different types of language



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used by both genders, it is equally as important to discuss how they’re used
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Men are
taught as children, and through the media that acting like a girl is not a good thing
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So, because women are traditionally and
stereotypically quiet and polite, men will deliberately be loud and rude
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I thought it would be interesting to see how men and women talked about different body
types
...
To avoid ethical issues, the images of
the women were cartoons
...
These were the results:



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Men - bigger lady

Women - bigger lady
Large

9% 9%
37%

Big
Fat

18%

Large

Attractive

9%
9%
9%

Beautiful

Big

6% 6%
7%
13%
6%
31%

Curvy

Chunky
Wide

19%

Attractive

6%
6%

Beautiful

Full

Men - smaller lady
17%
17%

Petite

33%

17% 16%

Attractive
Beautiful
Skinny
Worringly thin

Curvy

Women - smaller lady
13%

13%

25%

Petite
Attractive

37%

Skinny
Slim

12%

Small


One of the most recognisable results for the bigger lady, is that the most commonly used word
was ‘curvy’
...

Immediately, this leads me to believe that this is down the influence from the media
...
What is
most surprising though, is that the men follow this trend, despite previous research showing
that men do not actually care much for politeness
...
It would be good to see if they would follow the same pattern when talking
about the figure of a larger man
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The interesting
thing about this word is, what does it actually mean? Full of what? Full of fat, confidence, joy?
This isn’t something we need to question, however, as we assume means that she is simply big,
or filled out
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So, this
transfers to this scenario, where the use of ‘full’ means that she eats a lot, and so her figure is
filled to the brim
...
This might be because the
men think that it’s polite, but the women know that the word’s connotations are just plain
rude
...
18% of the male responses, in comparison to just 6% of female
responses, used the word ‘big’ to describe the larger figure
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Yet, both genders were happy to
use this word to describe a larger person, even though it could cause offence
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Just like with ‘curvy’, the media has created a whole new world of
socially acceptable words to call very small or very large women in a bid to diminish offensive
terms when talking about body shapes and body issues
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The media want us to be
beautiful and curvy if we are slightly larger, and if we are smaller they want us to be cute and



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petite
...
17% of men said
that the smaller lady was ‘worryingly thing’, even though they also said that she was ‘petite’
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This potentially means that words such as ‘curvy’ and
‘petite’ are actually false compliments, as Goddard (2000: 92) discussed
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My main concern is that the problem stems from childhood
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Until we diminish this
type of teaching, sexism will never disappear
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This means that women would be visible because they would
be seen as equal to men, rather than their ability to have linguistic competence
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” So, if we get rid of gender, we get rid of all the problems associated with them,
which includes sexism
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Bibliography:

COATES
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2nd edition
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Page: 188
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J (2004) Women, men, and language
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Published: Pearson Education Limited,
Harlow, Essex, England
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ECKERT
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Published: Cambridge University Press, The
Edinburgh Building, Cambridge, England
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GOADDARD (2000) Language and gender
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Pages: 25, 92
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D (1998) Man made language
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Pages:
36,38,125,126

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