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7 Practical Strategies to
Overcome Emotional Pain
Speed your recovery from emotional injuries with these 7 ways to
heal the heart
Life is filled with emotional bumps, bruises, illnesses, and strains
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We can all benefit from self-help books with a solid empirical basis that
translate technical jargon into practical advice, and Winch’s book definitely
falls in that category
...
Carrying the injury and illness metaphor
throughout, he shows how we can repair our emotionally broken bones to
recover from the poison of guilt, and overcome other common deficiencies of
our emotion repair system
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Cuts and scrapes caused by rejection
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You may become
angry at them, yourself, or the world in general
...
Winch’s
remedy for rejection involves a four-pronged strategy: Don’t accept selfcriticism, rebuild your self-worth by focusing on your strengths, find other
people to fill the void, and desensitize yourself to the pain of future rejection
through practice bouts in which you set yourself up for mild rejections that you
can readily overcome
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The relationship muscle weakness of loneliness
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The longer you go
without relating closely to others, the more difficult it becomes to reestablish
contact with new people, or even get back in touch with the old friends you’ve

drifted away from
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If you’re convinced that no one could
ever love or care about you, try to fight that pessimism with some logical
counter-arguments
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Here again, try some logic to counter
your skepticism by questioning your own negative assumptions
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Exercising
your empathy can also strengthen your relationship muscles, making it more
likely that those you care about will want to be close to you
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3
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Distress is a natural emotion that results
when someone close to you dies or you suffer a traumaticexperience involving
your own safety
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As
Winch states, “Loss and trauma can shatter the pieces of our lives, ravage our
relationships, and subvert our very identities” (p
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The experience of loss
also shatters your assumptions about the world, making you realize that it’s
not as safe a place as you once thought
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It may be too early for you to
examine the meaning of the loss for your life and your future; instead, you
may be better able to recover by giving yourself more time to heal
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The poisonous effect of guilt
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In guilt, you essentially are the source of your own unhappiness
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However, just as often as not, it’s unhealthy
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Unresolved guilt refers to the feelings left behind
when you believe you may not have completely apologized for a wrong you
committed against another person even though, in reality, you did
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In separation guilt, you feel that you don’t have the
right to pursue your own independent life and success because to do so
makes others seem flawed in comparison
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After you’ve forgiven

yourself, you need to feel that it’s okay for you to re-engage with your life and
go on to enjoy that success you feel so guilty about
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