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UNDERSTANDING BODY
COMMUNICATION

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Reading the Signs
Chapter 2: Mirroring
Chapter 3: Body Language in Negotiations
Chapter 4: Body Language in Selling
Chapter 5: Body Language in Job Interviews
Chapter 6: Body Language in Meetings

Reading the Signs

Chapter 1

In this chapter, we shall explore the various body gestures or
movements conveyed by people in different scenarios
...


Suggesting Interest
It is important to know if people are interested in what you are saying;
otherwise, you are just wasting your time
...
You have always been
interested in chemistry, so you assume that your students feel the same way
as you do
...
And unless you find out if staring continuously
at you without blinking the eyes is a sign of interest or an indication of being in
dreamland, you simply could not take the necessary steps to adjust to their
learning needs
...
The more
wide-opened the eyes are, the more interested the person is
...

•

Their heads are inclined forward
...
Such action means that they're
agreeing with you
...

•

Their feet are pointing towards you
...
But take note, not all smiles convey the same
feeling
...
It is used to show courtesy,
but not necessarily happiness or friendliness
...
This is usually the smile that many people exhibit when they
feign to enjoy a lame joke
...

There are certain hints to indicate if people are more receptive in
accepting your ideas
...


•

Their palms are open
...
They may agree with
you after careful evaluation
...


•

They are nodding their heads
...


•

They smile frequently
...
This indicates friendliness and
willingness to collaborate with you
...
This also indicates genuineness
...
This signifies openness and
conveys sincerity, honesty, or dedication
...


Indications That They are Thinking

People think all the time
...
Some of their
actions are written below:
•They’re stroking their chin
...

• They take their glasses off, after which they may either (1) clean
them, or (2) put the tip of the frame in their mouth
...
A frame in the mouth
would also likely indicate that they need more details and they are
willing to listen
...
People doing this are engaged in very deep thought
...

• They put a palm below the chin, index finger pointed and extended
along the cheek, while other fingers placed beneath the mouth
...


• They walk with the head down and hands behind the back
...


Indications That They Are Frustrated/ Dismayed

A basketball coach whose team loses by a point may say “Aaarrrrrrr!”
or he may just keep quiet while making certain body movements that indicate
how disappointed he is
...

•

They are scratching/rubbing the hair or the back of the neck
...
”

•

They kick the dust or air
...
Their actions actually speak louder
...


•

They put their hands on their hips, usually with legs apart
...
This may indicate a spurt of
vitality at the moment, but may be followed by sluggishness
...


•

They cross their arms
...


Indications Of Boredom

Imagine your boss is doing a presentation and all employees are
required to listen
...
After the meeting, you hear the
boss ask them, “Did you enjoy the presentation?” They would say “Definitely!”
But you know better
...
It feels
good to know body language, doesn’t it?
Some signals conveyed by people who are bored and disinterested
include:
•

Head supported by the palm, often accompanied by drooping eyes
...

• They are pulling their ears
...

•

They are clicking a pen non-stop
...


•

They yawn incessantly
...

• They move restlessly in their seats
...

• They cross their legs and constantly kick their foot in a very slight
motion (particularly done by females)
...

Restrain from such act even if your instinct tells you to do so
...
I feel that I’m losing your attention
...
You may discover what's actually preventing them from keeping
up with you
...
Some of the movements made
by excited people include:
•

They rub their palms against each other
...


•

Their heads are tilted forward
...


Signals Exhibiting Confidence/Authority/Power

People with a high degree of self-confidence are normally more likely to
be successful than those who have low self-esteem
...
So how do they move?
• They maintain firm eye contact and rarely looks on other body parts
underneath the nose
...


•

Chin tilted upwards
...


•

They maintain an erect posture, whether standing or sitting
...
People who sit in this position are known to be
bossy and aggressive
...


•

Their hands are placed beside the hips
...


•

They have a firm handshake, palms pointing downwards
...


•

They move with precision and with no hesitation
...


• They join the fingertips of both hands together (small finger of both
hands joined together, ring finger of both hands joined together, and
so on)
...
The
higher the hands are elevated, the more confident they are
...
When
they do this, it may also mean that they are apathetic, disinterested,
or unconcerned
...


Moreover, you can declare your domination over other people by rising
or elevating yourself from them
...
Choose a chair or location where other people will
have to “look up” on you
...


Signals Of Anger/Resistance

Many people rarely let their anger go out of control
...
You must therefore be able to
recognize any gesture that signifies wrath or resistance to prevent any
possible chances of the fireworks exploding
...


•

Their hands or feet are tapping
...


•

Their arms are crossed over the chest
...


• Collar pulled away from the neck, like letting some air in during a
hot day in the summer
...


• Their arms are vertically placed on the table while the hands are
gripping the edge
...
If you’re going to be interviewed in a
television show (hey, who knows?), you should be aware of your body
movements
...


•

Their hands or feet are tapping
...
This is
the position of the hands when praying
...


•

They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice
...


•

They are often clearing their throat
...


•

Their arms are at the back, where one hand is pressing the wrist or
arm
...


•

Their legs are crossed while standing
...


•

Their eyes evade you
...
When accompanied
by clenched fists, this may indicate that they are holding back
strong emotions or feelings
...
What?!? You thought people smoke because
they’re nervous
...
People who smoke
only do

so

when they are

not

tensed

in

any way
...


Signals Made When They Are Doubting/Suspecting You

It’s sometimes difficult to assume whether you are being regarded as a
trustworthy person, or you are being thought of as someone who is full of
nonsense
...


•

They are rubbing or touching their eyes or ears
...


•

Their arms are crossed over the chest
...
This movement may indicate that you are being
examined closely (to the point that you get conscious)
...
This subconsciously occurs when you are
uncertain of how to answer a critical question or when you are concerned of
other people’s reaction to your answer
...
“Should I really buy this? Maybe I should wait for
a sale
...


•

They stick a pen in their mouth
...


•

They rub the back of the chair (while sitting)
...


•

They bite their nails (in some cases)
...


• They jiggle the coins in their pockets
...

Here’s what certain types of people would do when they want to
reassure others:
• A woman gives reassurance to another female by holding both of
her hands and sometimes hugging her
...

• A politician who would like to reassure you that he will be doing a
good job when elected in public office would shake your hand with
his right hand and cup it with his left hand
...
You can see the sparkle
in their eyes and you can sense the thrill in their voice
...
It may be to cover up a fault or
embarrassment, to avoid upsetting other people, to encourage when no hope
can be perceived, or to be spared from petty hassles
...

Here are some indications that are conveyed by people when lying:
•

They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice
...


•

They try their best to avoid having eye contact
...


•

They look somewhere else and glimpse from the corner of their eye
...


•

They are blinking rapidly
...


•

Their arms are crossed over the chest
...


•

They scratch their head or the back of the neck
...


•

Their hands or feet are tapping
...


•

They are constantly moving from one place to another or changing
their poses
...


Don't Jump to Conclusions

Every person has a unique body language
...
(This is very unhealthy because rage
kept up inside can explode furiously anytime, causing serious casualties)
...
Constantly touching the mouth may indicate lying,
although the real reason might just be that the mouth is itching
...
For example, you can confirm if a
person is really nervous if he exhibits many of the qualities of nervousness
described above
...
Be aware of the body
language, but also combine your observations with the spoken words to get
more hints regarding the inner feelings of another
...


Chapter 2
Mirroring
Be genuinely interested and curious with everything you can find out
about them
...
Know their life story
...

But mirroring should not be confused with mimicry
...
Never let the person you're mirroring be aware of what
you're doing
...
Every time he stands, you stand
...
That would be insulting
...

Your main objective should be to influence the subconscious
...

The person will subconsciously be at ease when you duplicate his
manners indirectly
...


Correspond with Their Moods
If a person you’re mirroring have lots of problems, don't come to him in
a joyous mood and say, "Don't worry about it
...
"
He’s in a foul mood
...
Match his disposition first, then say something like, "I feel bad for you
...
" All he wants right now is
to be with someone who has the same mood as he has
...
If someone has some really big emotional
problems, and you mirror that person, you run the risk of actually absorbing
his emotions
...

Developing Rapport

The ultimate goal of mirroring is to build rapport
...

So how would you know if you've built rapport?
Mirror them
...

After some time, touch your nose or cross your legs
...

You can even build rapport even if a person you're mirroring is far
away
...
Just relax
...
Make his image so real and vivid
...
Use your subconscious to enter his world
...
Give
out positive projections uniting his entire persona into yours
...
Think of what he may be doing at the moment
...

With this exercise, you can even emulate your role models
...

Do the above exercise and you'll soon see some astounding results
...
Be keen in observing their body
language by focusing on the whole body - the head, arms, hands, chest,
tummy, legs and feet
...
You
will also be more perceptive in reading their body language
...
By business practice, people of higher status (e
...
president
of a company) command more personal space, and are usually conferred by
other people in the negotiating table
...
If this person occupies the
dominant chair, a good negotiator can repel this by strategic seating
arrangement of teams or allies in the negotiating table
...


First Impressions Last

In the negotiating table, the first move is the most crucial
...


So make a good, firm, and calculated move
...
Radiate your enthusiasm
...
Your eyes are the windows to your soul
...

Give a solid handshake
...
A
common fallacy is that we should squeeze the hand during this monumental
time of the handshake
...

Press the hand one time while looking the person straight in the eye
...


Put Your Body Language Know-how to Use
During the negotiation process, observe their gestures
...

Be alert in recognizing these signals
...
You might be exhibiting signs of nervousness without you
knowing it, and your counterparts (who might also know body language) might
take advantage of the circumstances
...
In addition, how you sound
also imparts a message, so 93% of emotion is also conveyed without saying
the actual words
...
In the real world, we sell tangible items and
also ideas
...

When you sell, you can use postures, facial expressions, gestures,
mannerisms, and your physical appearance to close the sale successfully
...
The key here is
to do everything you can to positively affect their senses
...
You can immediately analyze a person’s personality by studying his
style in shaking hands
...
On the other hand, an individual with little
or no confidence often gives a frail handshake
...
Adopt a handshake that
is firm, yet not crushing
...

2
...
A slouching shoulder
with your eyes looking on the ground can indicate lack of interest
...
Always maintain a straight body,
whether you’re standing or sitting
...
Match the straight open posture with a genuine facial expression
...
The client may think that you are hiding
something, as he can’t see through your eyes
...

Lay down your cards and throw the shades away
...
The client might get intimidated
...
When doing sales calls and presentations, be sure to use sincere
and open movements all the time
...
The outward and
upward gestures of your hands are recommendable
...
Meanwhile, if you place your hands on
your waists, you are exuding positive confidence
...
"Don't point
...
It is as if you’re waving your sales opportunity goodbye
...

6
...
Unbuttoning your jacket means you are
ready to talk and to listen to a counter offer
...


You, as the seller, may also use body language as a tool to recognize
and counteract any potential objections by the client
...
If the client’s arms are crossed, it means he is disinterested
...
When
his arms and legs are uncrossed, and his hands are open, this is
the best scenario, as they are open to your ideas…and a sale is
more likely to happen
...
Another good sales scenario is when the client mimics your
gestures like when you fix your hair and the client follows
...
If this is the case, throw all your barrage of features and
benefits, and close the sale! This point is crucial as you can make
or break the sale
...
If the client covers his mouth, touches his nose, or the part near the
eye, there’s a probability that you are losing the sale
...
But don’t despair
...
Reassure
the client that he is getting a great deal and encourage him to open
up and share ideas
...
Then try to reach that positive sales atmosphere again
and close the sale
...
Always be alert to the signs the client is exhibiting
...
The client's body language may change
from positive to suspecting
...
Always
exhibit openness and sincerity
...
Use mirroring techniques
(discussed in the previous chapter)
...

5
...
Thank the client for
listening and shake his hand with sincerity
...

Closing the presentation on a positive note will leave a good
impression of you
...


Use your body every way you can in the selling process
...
If you truly believe in the high quality of your product or service,
other people will be positively affected by your enthusiasm
...


Chapter 5
Body Language in Job Interviews
Gone are the days when the job seeker has to write the handwritten
application letter to earn that job interview
...
But one thing
remains the same - the body language of the applicant during job interviews
and how they make the first impression as they step inside that interview
room
...
They can tell
if you are capable of handling the job, if you are devoted, or if you’re someone
who can get along with other employees
...
The interviewer generally will find responses from you that match their
qualifications
...

Be Punctual

This is the most important aspect of the job interview – arriving on time
...

Your attitude regarding time will send the wrong messages to the employer,
and will tell a lot about your lack of professionalism
...
It is better to be early by one
hour than to be a minute late
...
Shake hands
firmly, but do not squeeze
...

Proper Body Posture

Body posture is important during job interviews and you can adopt the
following stance
...
Do not slouch or move
sideways in your chair because it might be perceived by the interviewer as a
lack of interest or boredom
...

When the interviewer says something, it is advisable to lean forward a
little
...
You
can tilt your head a little to show that you are listening closely
...
Just place your hands loosely on your lap or just put them on
the armrest of your chair
...

While speaking, you may nod your head occasionally to expound on a
subject or to give more meaning to what you are saying
...
The interviewer would think that
you are comfortable with the interview process if you make hand gestures
...
The proper way is to add them gradually throughout the
interview
...
If they use
their hands a lot to make a point or to clarify something, you can do the same
thing as well (Remember mirroring?)
...
It is important to adjust your gestures
to that of the interviewer to establish rapport
...
Some of the acts that may irritate the interviewer could include:
•

Tapping your fingers across the desk
...


•

Biting your nails
...


The Panel Interview

Being interviewed by one person could be a piece of cake for many
...

It is important to maintain eye contact with all the interviewers at an
equal extent
...

When one of the interview partners asks or says something, maintain
eye contact with him until he ceases speaking
...
While he is speaking, he may also look at the other

interviewers
...

When you answer a question, look first at the one who asked
...
You should direct yourself again to the person who asked
the question when you want to prove a point, when you want to emphasize
something, and when you are done answering
...
The body gestures of your
interviewers can give you an indication of how well you are coming across to
them
...

For example, when you did something that displeases the interviewers,
they will show their annoyance through body language
...
The interviewers might not
consciously notice that they’re exhibiting their body movements at first, so you
still have a chance to shift your strategy
...
You can utilize this knowledge to conceal

your anxiety a little, but this is something you shouldn't worry about too much
...
However, it is completely
understandable to be nervous at this stage
...


Your nervousness may even indicate how valuable getting this job is to
you
...


The interview not only functions as a way of determining who among
the applicants is most capable of performing the job well, but it is also a
means of allowing the interviewer to get to know more about the applicants
...

If that’s the case, then the interviewer (who could be your boss) should
actually feel the same way as you are
...


Chapter 6
Body Language in Meetings
Communication occurs constantly in a meeting
...

If you are the leader of the meeting, it is important to know if the
attendees are interested in what you are saying, or if they agree with your
ideas
...

When you see most of the attendees reclining back in their chairs or
just staring blankly without blinking an eye, it likely means they are not
interested in the topic being discussed
...

When the attendees nod constantly, it means they are agreeing with
what you are saying
...
Time to think of
some countermeasures to neutralize the situation
...

Observe also other body gestures, such as:
•

Changing the intonation of the voice
...


•

Looking down at the ground

•

Drumming fingers in the table
...


You need to detect the inner feelings of each attendee and bear in
mind how this can affect the reaction of the other attendees
...
Some emotional people can exhibit great facial
expressions and body gestures
...

I have interviewed a number of successful men and women in the field
of network marketing and advertising in their 30s and 40s
...
Don’t worry about whether you are making a good impression or
not
...

By doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting
...

2
...
Put a smile on your face, as it gives you an
aura of being friendly
...
Remember that you cannot attract people just by sitting or standing
like a statue
...
No matter
what you do, you would get a so-called “vacuum” reaction
...
Be aware of these signals:
mouths get larger, the lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin
flushes and changes color, muscles around the mouth move,
among others
...
Be persistent
...
By being
such, you will have room for improvement if at first you aren’t
getting the results you want
...
Try different approaches
until you realize what will really work best for you
...
This goes with the sayings, “To err is
human” and “Nobody’s perfect
...
This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow funniest
tip I got: “Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!”
This is especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because
flirting may involve unwanted actions and attention which can put
you in the bad light
...
Try practicing with
your close friends and ask for feedback
...
Make the first move! Opportunities knock only once, so if you want
something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your
inhibitions
...
Who
knows if the person you meet at that moment is your gateway
towards the fulfillment of your dreams
...

1
...
In his article “The Six Don Juan
Commandments of Body Language,” Allen Thompson wrote that

smiling is “The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful of the
body language commandments
...
Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive
attitude, a good mood, and it gives the impression that you're
someone who is, most likely, fun to be with
...
”
2
...
Learn to laugh at petty matters
...

3
...
Your eyes are probably the most expressive
parts of your body
...
Eye contact also establishes
a bond between two persons
...

4
...
By nodding, you signify your approval and you
encourage the other party to continue talking
...

5
...
Do not cross your arms across the chest or
hold obstructive objects (such as a food) between the two of you
...

Knowing If The Apple Of Your Eye Is Interested

Do you want to know if that special someone is interested in you as
well? Let's assume you're a man
...
Look at her with extreme confidence letting her know you
are interested
...
She may be a bit shy to stare back

at you, so it's natural if she shifts her glance
...

•

If she looks down and away, she's interested
...


Moreover, how will you know if a person is attracted to you just by
observing body signs? A girl, for example, is flirting if she espouses the
following body language:
1
...
She wears that big smile with her teeth
exposed and with a relaxed face
...

2
...
She looks at you with a deep stare
and her pupils are dilated
...
And
of course, the most common one - she blinks her eyes more than
usual and shows you that fluttering eyelashes
...
She gets herself noticed by the stroking of her hair
...

4
...
The hem of her skirt
goes up a little further exposing her legs, or she fixes her clothes
more than usual to look a little better
...
You can tell it from the way she sits
...
Or her
legs are rubbing against each other or against the leg of the table
...
Her hands mirror how she feels
...
She rubs her chin or touches her cheek, and
in a bold way may even unconsciously touch her breasts
...

On the contrary, how does a man show his interest in a woman? It’s
much simpler
...

Conversation Openers

If you want to start a relationship, you've got to initiate the dialogue
...

•

If your special someone is a specialist, ask "How do you…?" or
"What's it like to…?"

• Ask about experiences, like "Have you ever tried to…?" or "Have
you ever gone to…?
Find out what interests your special someone
...
Always stay calm and relaxed
...
Nod to signify that you're listening
...

The Touch

A simple touch to the body can have a thousand different meanings
depending on how you perceive the power of touch in body language
...
We definitely need to be stroked and have physical
contact with other people to survive
...


Touch can convey respect and trust, and is also a way to differentiate
power between people
...
You must learn the art of
touching in order to send your signals to the other person
...
It has to be done at the right time in a suitable
way, or the result would not be one that you expect
...

You can determine the appropriateness of your touch and your ability
to adjust to the circumstances, by how your receiver reacts to it
...
But if the
person seems to back off, this means you did not touch properly, so you have
to make some adjustments

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